


he was my life

by ironccap



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 09:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20005987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironccap/pseuds/ironccap
Summary: 10 years? you were in love with berlin for 10 years, and you never even dared to tell him?





	he was my life

Martin collapsed on a chair in which was supposed to be the office of the head of this whole building. He was tired. He'd been 'playing Palermo' the entire day and he was completely and utterly drained. He just wanted to get some sleep. It had been a while since he'd had that. To be completely honest, he hadn't slept great since he'd found out that Andrès had been shot dead by the police. Dead, because he sacrificed himself for that heist.

_Mierda, ese puto bastardo que me deja acá solo. Why'd he do this to me? Didnt he know that I cant live without him? Didnt he?_

Eventually, his mind wandered off. To happier times. Times in which he thought that maybe one day, he would tell Andrès how he really felt. Times in which he wasn't this ice cold, broken version of himself, yet. Times in which he hadn't needed a drink everyday, just to get through with it.

He thought of that one day, when Sergio came to visit them and Andrès had started to explain the heist. Martín had suddenly felt very aware of Andrès touching him, standing behind him while explaining the idea for the heist to Sergio. He was so happy and excited about it. The plan wasn't waterproof, he knew that. But it was strong enough to take the risk. Because that's how Andres lived. He was always risking it all. Martin could not blame him for it, he knew that if he got diagnosed like Andres had been, with maybe three more years to live, he'd have done the exact same thing.

After talking about the heist with Sergio, they all went to the garden to drink and toast. Toast to their new adventure. Andres had put on the Italian resistance song, and the three of them sung it together. At one point, Andrès had taken Martíns hand and dragged him to the centre of the garden, to dance with him. They'd been swaying on their feet, while the music continued in the background. It was near the end of the song that Andrès had suddenly come a lot closer to Martín.

_tutte le genti che passeranno_

Martín took a step in Andrès' direction.

_o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!_

He slid his arm around Andrès' waist.

_tutte le genti che passeranno_

Andrés smiled at him, that beautiful blinding smile. God, he could never get enough of it.

_mi diranno «che bel fior!»_

Martín smiled back.

_e poi diranno «che bel fior!»_

Andrès leaned in a bit closer, suddenly.

_è questo il fiore del partigiano_

Martín swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. What was happening? Was this real?

_e questo è il fiore del partigiano_

Was it?

_o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!_

Andrès leaned in even closer, Martín could feel his body heath and scent take over his mind completely at this point.

_è questo il fiore del partigiano_

Andrès started whispering something in Martins ear.

_è questo il fiore del partigiano_

"whatever happens during the heist, it'll be okay. normally, it can't go wrong. you'll see. i'll be here back soon enough. te quiero, hermanito."

**_morto per la libertà_ **

Martín just smiled. Gave him a hug.

i love you too, he thought. so much that it hurts me. it hurts me to see you with women, being happy with them, kissing them, making love to them. because god, i wish that were me. andres. i love you so goddam much. _you are my life._

he didnt say any of that, though.

it was his biggest regret to this day.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, sorry that this is a short one. im planning on writing out these series of short fics about palermos thoughts during the heist. let me know what you think of it! neither English or Spanish are my native languages so im sorry for possible mistakes! 
> 
> twitter: @lcdpalermo


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